“It’s not them; it’s you.” The first time I heard this, it blew my mind.  It’s referring to the way people want to blame someone else for their being offended. We are trained to think that, if somebody wrongs us or behaves in a way that we don’t like, we have a reason to be hurt or offended. But the truth about the way you feel is that “it’s not them, it’s you”. You are the one choosing to be hurt, bothered, annoyed, offended, etc. No matter what the other person does you always have a choice. The ball is always in OUR court because WE can always walk in love.

You will give an account for your life only and how you chose to steward it. We never read about Jesus saying some of the things we say when we’re offended. Instead, Jesus said that offenses would come, but woe to the one that causes them. He didn’t say woe to the one who was offended. (Luke 17:1) Someone once told me, “When we put expectations on other people, the only thing we can expect is to be offended.”

If we allow someone else’s actions to move us out of a place of right standing with our Father, then ultimately it is our problem. We are responsible for our reactions. Another profound saying that I heard is, “Don’t let someone else’s sin against you cause sin within you.” We are the stewards of our lives. It’s up to us to walk uprightly and in a place of integrity. We might say, “They should have never done that” or that they “should’ve known better.” And maybe they shouldn’t have said/done it. But, actually, maybe we should know better than to react the way we did.

BE HOLY, BECAUSE I AM HOLY

(1 Peter 1:16) We can’t expect to live a holy/righteous life if we are not actively seeking the One who is holy and righteous. We are constantly under the influence of the world and its wisdom, which the Bible tells us is sensual and demonic. (James 3:15) We have to renew our minds. (Romans 12:2) Responding to ungodly people (oftentimes Christians) in a godly way, can only be done by spending time with the Father and taking on His likeness. The Bible says that the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

THE BEATITUDES

The beatitudes (the attitudes of being) tell us that when people insult us, persecute us, and falsely say all kinds of evil against us because of Him we are to rejoice and be glad because our reward is in heaven. It doesn’t say to withdraw, lick our wounds, and call somebody and have a pity party. It also doesn’t say to constantly remind that person how they hurt us.

The Bible tells us that Jesus provides a way out of every temptation, even the temptation to be hurt or offended. (1 Corinthians 10:13) People are always going to let us down, if we let them. But, if our hope and trust is in Jesus, the One who overcame the world, the one who cannot fail, rather than people, then no matter who or what comes against us, we can still shine in the midst of adversity.

Final thoughts: Love others. See them the way Jesus sees them (worth dying for). Don’t wait for someone to get cleaned up before you can love them. After all, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Remember Colossians 3:13 that says, Forgive as the Lord forgave you. The Greek word used here for “as” is kathōs, which means “in proportion to, to the degree that.” “Anyone who shows no loving-kindness will have no loving-kindness shown to him when he is told he is guilty. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” (James 12-14)

Blessings,

The Good News-tritionist